"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for approval, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills -- skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you leave my language alone right now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will punctuate you."

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Things Could Be Worse

If you haven't seen "Things Could Be Worse", you owe it to yourself to check it out. It's funny, weird, well-drawn and usually well-written. However, I've got to drop the grammar hammer on this one - that apostrophe belongs at the beginning of "'round", not at the end.


At first I was reluctant to pick on this sign. After all, there is a good chance that English is not the first language of the proprietors of this store. But then I saw the other side of the sign:

It's spelled correctly here. So who or what is to blame - shaky command of the language, or a careless sign maker? My money is on the latter.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


There are a lot of mistakes in this paragraph, but I was most interested in "porches" for "purchase".

Call First for Directions

The top part of this sign (unfortunately cut off) follows a typical format: "unauthorized vehicles will be towed away at owner's expense." It's somewhat heartening that there is an apostrophe in "owner's", but I've always thought it should be "owners' expense" since we're referring to multiple vehicles (except in the unlikely event that all the offending vehicles belong to the same person).

But that's not what I came here to talk about (and yet I just did). I'm more interested in the fact that I've been parking near this sign for over a year and only recently noticed that the towed vehicles can be claimed at a phone number or by telephoning the California Vehicle Code 22511.8 (I don't know what the "AD" means).